Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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