My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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