And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
