I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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