i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
