Jerry, you need to find god
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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