I have demons in me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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