She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
