Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
