Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
