he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
