no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
