im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
