So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
