Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
