I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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