i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
