haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
