Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
