he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
