How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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