oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
