We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
