theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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