Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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