Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Less talking, more tequila
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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