I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
