3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
