You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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