One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
