The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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