I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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