just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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