At least make sure they are 18
Why
My sheets look like a crime scene.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
