I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
