party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
