Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
