I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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