Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
