she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
