Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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