Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
