she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
