we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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