how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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