try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
