ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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