I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
