I want to stick my p in your. b.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
