Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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