I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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